how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
