pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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