Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
