So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
