Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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