i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
