onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
