Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
