Midget sex pt 2 tonight
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
