Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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