morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
