Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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