Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
