Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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