Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
