I hate your face
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
