I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize