the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
