At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
