i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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