you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
