Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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