What a fucking waste of an outfit
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
