3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
