He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Randomize
