Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
the liver wants what the liver wants
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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