she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
40s are totally the cure
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize