oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Terrible idea I love it
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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