im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
