my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You pole danced in your parka.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
