i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
