i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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