with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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