yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
