do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
