I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize