Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
