went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
