I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
