I think I can smell my own vagina right now
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
