I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
