Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
