YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
