I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
