Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
