New invention idea: vibrating tampons
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
