i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
wow bdsm is so cute
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
