Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
