I swear she didn't look like that last week.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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