So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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