I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
