I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I think I won the penis lottery.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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