Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
