Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You pole danced in your parka.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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