Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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