I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
