new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
